Where am I now?
Change comes with loss. We need to acknowledge those losses before we can move on to a new normal.
And we need to identify HOW those losses impact us so we can choose what to do about it.
Labeling how you are feeling can create a distance between you and how you feel. This allows you to better respond to the situation. For example, right now you feel angry – but you are not an angry person. The way you feel today is not the way you will feel every day.
Once you label how you’re feeling, you could:
- Acknowledge and accept what’s coming up for you
- Talk to a non-judgmental listener
- Journal, write down your thoughts and feelings
- Turn to at-home physical activities to channel or calm your feelings
- Spiritual self-care can be helpful for some – for example, listening to music, prayer, yoga, meditation
- Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Are you self-criticizing? Are you unkind to yourself? How would you talk to a friend who is in a similar situation? Be your own friend. Practice kindness and self-compassion.
If none of these are helpful right now, please check out our list of resources.
Acknowledging, accepting and expressing your feelings are NOT signs of weakness. They allow you to get unstuck.
~ Mary Ann Baynton
There are so many changes in our personal, social and working lives that can impact how we cope today.
Look at the Kübler-Ross Change Curve and identify where you are now to help you decide what you want to work on first. Resources are provided under the Curve based on what you choose.
Shock
Are you still surprised at what happened? You may want to take some time to identify Where am I now?
Denial
Are you unable to accept what has happened? Acceptance is an important step for moving forward. This video by Dr. Joti Samra explains why it is important for us accept our current reality if we want to be able to change it.
Frustration
Are your thoughts, feelings or emotions difficult to deal with right now? Try the process in Managing my thoughts to get unstuck.
Depressed
Are you feeling down, hopeless or without energy? Reach out for help or begin taking steps to increase your own energy and well-being.
Experiment
Are you ready to try something new? You can learn more about yourself, break through the myths about emotions, or decide what you can control.
Decision
Are you feeling more positive and ready to create a new normal for yourself? It may be time to track your growth, start moving forward and even beginning a job search if that is something you decide to do.
Integrate
Do you already know where you are and where you want to do? This may be the time to envision your ideal life and make a commitment to yourself.
Identifying how losses impact us gives us the power to choose what we do about it.
If you are thinking “others have it worse than me so I shouldn’t feel bad about what I have lost”, pause.
Remember that loss of anything or anyone important to YOU can lead to an emotional response.
Your feelings are important. You’re allowed to feel what you feel without comparison, guilt, or shame. If you want to work more on this, check out Managing my thoughts.
Hanging out in denial about a loss or telling yourself the loss isn’t a big deal (when it’s not true) will only prolong the recovery time and the agony.
~ Mike Bundrant
Dr. Joti Samra, from My Workplace Health, explains why it’s important for us to accept our current reality if we want to change it.
Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.
– Brene Brown
If you are currently feeling hopeless or overwhelmed about your situation, please reach out and ask for support. You are not alone.